Obama endorse-athon round-up

It’s time to play my favorite game, Who’s Supporting Barack Obama Now. This week, we have a whole slew of influential folks that'll make you say, "Colin Powell who?" Buckle up!

First up: kids. Totally not ripping off the Scholastic News poll from last week, Nickelodeon conducted its own survey of over 2 million kids, asking who should win the election. Barack took it with 51% of the vote. McCain’s loss is being attributed to the presence of third-party write-in candidates Drake and Josh. (Ask your niece.)

Now, kids are nice and all, but you know what endorsements Americans really respect? Europeans. Comb-averse London Mayor Boris Johnson has penned a piece in the Telegraph titled “Barack Obama: Why I believe he should be the next president.” Didn't anyone teach him about not making your thesis statement your title? Amatuer.

And across the Channel, a whopping 74 percent of Dutch citizens want an Obama win, making France’s 64 percent seem downright moderate. In countries across the globe, in fact, citizens prefer Obama to McCain by nearly 4 to 1, according to an extensive Gallup poll. Don’t let 89 percent of Kenyans down, America.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt, went and endorsed the senator from Illinois, ensuring that pressing the “I’m feeling lucky” button on the Google homepage will take you straight to the Obama/Biden 2008 site. And then on top of that, political bellweather Eminem has pledged his support for Barack. I bet McCain's totally regretting pulling out of Michigan now. No word on whether 50 Cent will fall in line, or will still not be registered to vote this time around.

Obama’s even winning over the hard-to-get religious merchandisers vote. Spotted at a street fair in San Francisco last week was a collection of votive candles illustrated with a beatific Barack in monk robes looking like some sort of Saint Senator of Assisi or something. Yea, and it was good. And there was much rejoicing. (Here’s hoping these candles catch on and will soon be available at a bodega near you. They’re so kitsch, yet so now! Zoinks!)

Overwhelming? Sure. But not even that massive combination of endorsements can spell doom for McCain. You know what can? This: A 75-pound bear cub was found shot to death at a North Carolina college. Draped over its adorably slaughtered head? Obama ’08 campaign signs. Must’ve been put off by McCain’s VP pick.

Kids, Eurotrash, Internet millionaires, white rappers and dead bears: all in the tank for Obama. Sheesh.