Fight night!

It’s been an agonizing five weeks since the VP picks were announced, with voters anxiously awaiting tonight’s big showdown between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden. But the day is finally here, so fill your nacho hat, review your drinking game rules, and let’s get ready to rumble.

Let’s be honest. The presidential debates are kind of a wash. John McCain and Barack Obama have both been campaigning for so long that it’s unlikely we’ll learn anything new from their meets. Most viewers tune in just in case Obama accidentally praises Allah, or McCain flies into a PTSD-fueled rage and garrotes the moderator with his “veto pen.”

No, the real action is the VP ticket. Tonight’s match-up is our best chance to see some awesome missteps. It’s practically a vice presidential nominee’s solemn duty. And this time around, we have an embarrassment of foot-in-mouth riches. Joe Biden has made a career of saying inappropriate things, and his weeks on the campaign trail have been no different. He even said that FDR went on TV after the 1929 stock market crash. Genius! The man is a master.

But still it’s been an uphill battle. His missteps have been overshadowed at every turn by a younger, faster and just plain better gaffe machine. Biden is simply outclassed by Palin when it comes to making yourself look like an idiot. Just look at the attention she’s been getting. With barely any time on the national scene, Palin’s already fumbling at a James Stockdale level.

Tonight, we as a country can finally come together, putting our differences aside, and watch as a nation united as two titans do battle to see who can make a bigger ass of themselves. I’ve never been so proud.