Get out the Jägermeister and the kettle corn, because tonight’s the series finale of the hottest new show of 2008: The Presidential Debates. We’ve had some ups and downs over the abbreviated season, like in early October when they switched focus to the supporting cast for an episode—a trick they totally a ripped off from “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” by the way—but tonight the focus is back where it should be: the grizzled vet who’s two weeks from retirement and the smooth-talking rookie with something to prove.
Tonight, John McCain and Barack Obama are following in the footsteps of countless young Long Island women whose grades suffered because of too many Zima benders: They’re going to Hofstra University. But what can we expect when they face each other, refusing to make eye contact for possibly the last time? Will McCain once again wander the stage aimlessly when Obama speaks? Will Obama make his “listening politely” smile any less patronizing? Will special guest star Bob Schieffer be the surprise death the spoilers have been hinting at?
Let me tell you, I’ve seen an advance copy of the debate, and it will be amazing. I don’t want to ruin it for you. Just make sure you’re sitting down around 10:52 p.m., because…no, I can’t say anything. It’s too delicious. I don’t know how they’re going to top this for season two.
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