In times like these, Americans look to individuals of influence for guidance. And there is no one more influential, more respected among American voters than Fidel Castro.
The former Cuban president weighed in recently on the big contest, seemingly throwing his support behind Barack Obama—probably because it’s the hip thing to do, and Fidel hates appearing out of touch with the young people. But Castro is worried. He fears there is a “profound racism” in the U.S. that will stop folks from voting for Obama: “Millions of whites cannot reconcile in their minds with the idea that a black man with his wife and children would move into the White House, which is called just like that—white.”
Jeez, man, why you gotta play the race card? Don’t you know that in America, if we just stop talking about racism, it goes away? But that wasn’t enough. No, he also had to stick his ailing foot in his mouth by saying it’s a “pure miracle” that Obama hasn’t been assassinated yet. Oh, Fidel. Have you learned nothing from Hillary Clinton’s mistakes? Also, since when do you believe in miracles?
Fidel, who is 10 years older than John McCain, also took some jabs at the McCain/Palin ticket. He said Sarah Palin “knew nothing at all about anything,” and that’s just sexist. He also called McCain “bellicose,” which as a rhetorical attack doesn’t really work since most Americans don’t know what “bellicose” means.
But Fidel has spoken. And the American people have responded, saying, “He’s still alive?”
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