Who does No. 2 work for?

No one’s really sure what the vice president actually does, but we do know this: The real work comes during the election. The VP picks were selected for very specific purposes, so let’s see how they’re doing. It’s early, of course, but rushing to judgment is what we do best.

A lot of folks have been complaining that Sarah Palin was a cynical pick, chosen solely because she has ovaries and isn’t 72. And there have been complaints about the campaign keeping her from the press. But don’t let her coy interview-dodging fool you. Palin was tapped for one reason: The huge amount of attention she generates gives John McCain the largest possible nap break. Seriously, have you seen him this week? Of course not. He’s sleeping.

And while all Palin has to do is keep people distracted while Gramps rests up, Joe Biden faces a much tougher challenge: convincing people Barack Obama is not an al-Qaida plant who will blow up the White House as soon as he’s in it. And apparently he’s doing a pretty bad job. Last week, Biden chatted up an 89-year-old woman in Philadelphia, leaving her with a peck on the forehead. But his charms didn’t take. Said the woman: “I told him I’m not going to vote for him.” And why is that? Well, she explained, it’s because Obama “pretends to be a Christian, and he isn’t. He’s a Muslim.”

Come on, Joe. Stop slacking. All you have to do is convince people there won’t be a White House Ramadan party, and you can relax for the next four years.