Scent of a winner

With so many voters still listing themselves as “undecided,” it may be time for the McCain and Obama campaigns to bring out the big guns: perfume.

Russell Brumfield, author of “Whiff! The Revolution of Scent Communication in the Information Age,” has been storming the press to get the word out about the power of “endorphin branding” and how the presidential candidates can use it to their advantage on election day: “Recent brain research shows that scent speaks to people in a powerful language that triggers emotions and memories that influence perceptions and decision-making,” Brumfield says. And who am I to argue with recent brain research?

Let’s let the good folks at askthewhiffguys.com spell it out: “Endorphin branding is the use of scent as a means of imprinting a highly emotional, positive experience in tandem with a targeted signature scent, which can be reintroduced at a later time to trigger and recreate the desired response.”

Well, that’s not creepy at all. But which campaign will seize on this first, turning our precious holdouts into a legion of “Manchurian Candidate”-style sleeper swing-voters? And how will they get close enough to the voting booths to pump in the appropriate trigger scents? There’s obviously only one solution: The candidates will have to get voters to associate them with the smell of elementary school gymnasiums.

I love the smell of subliminal voter manipulation in the morning. It smells like … well, CK One, actually, which is weird.

[Newsweek]