"Survivor: Washington"

As you might’ve heard, Barack Obama headed out to Hollywood for a pricey dinner/Barbra Streisand concert to raise money from the only people who have any left in America: celebrities. Among those in attendance: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster and Will Farrell. (Bet you didn’t think when you bought that DVD of “Blades of Glory,” some of the money would eventually go toward a $28,000 filet of beef and asparagus in Beverly Hills, did you?)


While discussing our hilarious economic situation with this gathering of values voters, Obama said:

“This is not a reality show, no offense to any of you.” [Pause for laughter] “This is not a sitcom.”

But oh my God imagine if it was! I mean, the primaries were already kind of like “American Idol” anyway, right? With all the voting and everything?

But now I’m thinking we go “Survivor” style, put them all on an island off the coast of Burma or some junk and make them do silly physical challenges until a winner emerges. Plus: OMG, secret alliances! I never would’ve guessed Biden and McCain were working together!

Or we could do it like “The Littlest Groom” and see which one Joe Lieberman likes best, but I think you already know the answer.

As for sitcom ideas, I have three words for you: “My Two Presidents.” Through some electoral fluke, Obama and McCain, who are total opposites, have to run the country together! While sharing a tiny Upper East Side apartment! Hilarity shall then ensue!

Also, another thing Obama said at the Hollywood gala was that to win this, the Democrats need to “cut through the nonsense and the lipstick and the pigs” and good lord he wants to stab Sarah Palin!