It's OK to look

Debate season got off to a promising enough start Friday night when John McCain actually showed up. So that means the economy’s all fixed, right? Awesome. Guess I can go ahead and buy that gold-plated speedboat, then.

But Lehrer wouldn’t let it go, and totally went out of his way to make it OK for the candidates to discuss the economy even though they were only supposed to be proving who was better at pronouncing “Ahmadinejad.” What’s up with that, Jim? Can’t you stay on topic. God, PBS is so ADD sometimes.

So then Obama and McCain were all blah blah blah “I’m gonna fix things, “No, I am,” “Surge good,” “Surge bad,” “Tax cuts,” “Kittens” and so forth, but I was too distracted by Lehrer asking the candidates to address each other directly, make eye contact and just kiss already!

OK, Jim, baby, we appreciate your die-hard romantic spirit, but stop trying to make McBama happen. The beady-eyed match-making is just awkward for us watching at home. Some couples just aren’t meant to be, like John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston, or Larry Craig and ladyfolk.

But McCain refused entertain Lehrer’s eHarmony ploys—the senator couldn’t even look Obama in the eye. Which makes sense, since McCain’s heart already belongs to Sarah Palin. Because once you go poorly vetted cynical political stunt, you never go back.