Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A T-shirt's worth a thousand words

Kids really do wear the darndest things sometimes. Daxx Dalton, an 11-year-old fifth-grader in Aurora, Colo., was suspended for refusing to change out of a homemade T-shirt that read “Obama a terrorist’s best friend.”

After the suspension, the boy’s father, Dann Dalton, was quick to hold a press conference to complain that Daxx’s first amendment rights had been trampled. “It’s the public school system,” Dalton the Elder told the local Fox affiliate. “Let’s be honest, it’s full of liberal loons.”

While the lettering on the XXL white Hanes pocket T won’t win young Daxx any art scholarships, at least it’s all spelled correctly. (Assuming he designed the shirt himself.) So, score one for No Child Left Behind?

But the real issue is that the shirt is too vague. It leaves too much open to interpretation. Yes, OK, fine. “Obama a terrorist’s best friend.” But which terrorist? You’re going to have to be more specific, folks, especially now that you’re planning to pursue a lawsuit.

I’d like to take a moment to address young Daxx himself now: Daxx, my man, it’s no use. The same thing happened to me when I tried wearing my Bart Simpson “Underachiever and proud of it” shirt. You can’t fight the school board. They’re just too powerful. If there’s anyone you should be mad at, it’s your dad. Everyone knows your name is only supposed to have one X.

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